Passion-less

Call this plain stupidity or what...

I actually rejected my dream of working in those famous aviation companies so that i can graduate in time (i hope :/).

A few weeks ago, my prof asked if i am interested to take up overseas IA next sem, either in rolls royce europe or ST aero USA. He knew of my passion in aerospace when he interviewed me for the scholarship last year so he actually offered this to me when he chance upon it.

If i had planned properly from the start of my uni, probably i would not underload my 1st sem and take ahead more mods in replacement of my exempted mods, so that i can free up one sem for IA.

If and if... if for what lol! initially i went into uni almost wanting to give up.. didn't think so far and surely didn't think i could end up in exchange now.

But uni, like SP has been offering me abundant of great opportunities. Indeed am blessed to have meet such nice SG profs in NTU to take good welfare of their SG students. Sometimes i feel i am depriving myself of such opportunities, mainly my unwillingness to take the risk and stay out of my comfort zone.

Just take this overseas IA for example, it is my unwillingness to take tt risk to disrupt my curriculum in ntu tt i give up my dream, my passion. I think Mr Awesome will be so disappointed that the once full of passionate girl he met at the ntu open house in 2011 is gone by giving up this dream.

It pains me equally much as well to pass this opportunity to others. It is my lifelong dream and i am giving it up. My dad as usual is the first one to support me by asking me to go. so it was up to me ultimately.

What is happening to u hy. where's the passion u used to have for aerospace... that passion that could even compel u to give up that A lvls. where's that passion? what has happened?

Is this plain stupidity... why am i just following the norm and not daring to step out and take that risk once again just for my dream.

why?

Before i left for this exchange, Mr Awesome, perhaps sensing i might be losing my passion wrote me a card reminding me to keep igniting that passion. It has kept me thinking when i read it on the plane to Finland. And i am doing now.... just goes to show perhaps i am really losing this passion.

Where's that dream to become the best aircraft engineer that I once aspire to be?